Our moms read a lot and usually one of the furry beasts beats me to their laps so I don’t pay them too much mind. Yesterday, however, I couldn’t help but notice the book Little Mom was reading: Food Pets Die For.
This caught my attention because Ethel’s been telling me for months that she’s pretty sure our moms are either trying to starve us [hence the disappearance of our beloved treats] or poison us [have YOU ever tried eating malt-flavored laxatives?]. Ethel’s always got an issue, so I figured this was just another of her tirades, but now I wonder if she’s onto something?
Lately I’ve noticed that I see the bottom of my food bowl more frequently than in the past. I used to think the food never ended, that somehow the bowl was infinitely deep. So you can imagine my terror the first time I spotted my reflection in the stainless steel bottom! Ethel told me that I’m too young to have to endure such a trauma. She was much older before she learned that the food bowl isn’t bottomless.
I noticed that the furry beasts’ food bowl is ALWAYS full. Not only that, but they get wet food EVERY SINGLE DAY. In desperation sometimes I have to sneak a bite because I’m so afraid I may never get to eat again.
But after seeing Little Mom reading that awful book, I wonder if maybe they’re going to poison us because starving us hasn’t worked? They did just change the kind of food we eat. I noticed they did it slowly, mixing the old food with the new food. Over time there was more of the new food and less of the old food. Could that have been part of the plot?
I wanted to ask Walter or Eggnog, because they were in her lap while she was reading. I thought they might know more. But I don’t trust those furry beasts not to tell our moms that I’m onto them.
Instead, I asked Steve if he thought anything strange was going on – an obvious mistake. He doesn’t mind that the bottom of our food bowls shows because he’s trying to stay trim for Willow. And, besides, he said, this new food has more protein because it’s grain-free, which will help him build muscle mass. Ugh.
Violet told me that our moms want us cats to stay a healthy weight and that’s why we don’t have an endless supply of food. She said Ethel has no self control when it comes to food and will gobble up whatever you put in front of her and then beat up everyone else to get their food, too. [That’s true. I’ve seen her in action.] Violet also said that our moms love us and want to feed us the best quality of food that they can afford, so she knows they would never try to poison us.
Maybe Violet’s right. That doesn’t explain why Little Mom was reading that book, but maybe she had a good reason. Ethel thinks I’m being naïve. And she’s upset with Violet for calling her fat. I told Ethel that Violet never said she was fat, but Ethel said that’s not the point.
Well, if you don’t hear from me after this, I guess you’ll know what happened to us. And if you’ve ever read this book and have an idea of why my mom was reading it, please tell me!