Willow, you ??? the father…

Baby Girl came to see me yesterday with updates on her brother, Willow [Steve’s former boyfriend]. She’s been all over the neighborhood. She even enlisted the help of her sister, Bubbles, to gather information.

For starters, Willow’s spending more and more time with Greg and Cindy from FelExodus. He’s even talking about going on a retreat with Greg to learn how to “unleash his Inner Warrior.”

willow_inner-warrior-lion2

Could this be Willow’s “Inner Warrior?” Doubtful.

As for the neighborhood gossip, turns out that Marmalade IS one of Willow’s girlfriends. And she IS pregnant with a litter of kittens. But Muriel (who lives next door to Marmalade) says that Willow’s not the father. She thinks the father is Ryder (a ruffian from a few blocks over). Unfortunately Ryder and Willow bear a striking resemblance to one another, so I don’t know how we’re going to tell which one is the real kitty daddy.

willow-marmalade-ryder

Willow’s also supposedly seeing Trixie AND Cinnamon. Trixie denies that Willow’s her boyfriend, but Baby Girl doesn’t believe her. She said Trixie’s trying to get back together with her ex, Shadow, but wants to keep Willow on the side. Baby Girl talked to Trixie’s best friend, Mitzi, who said that Willow doesn’t pay much attention to Trixie when they all hang out together, that Willow seems more interested in hanging out with Shadow.

LoveTriangle

Is it just me, or does Shadow look a little like my pathetic brother Steve?

As for Cinnamon, she admits that she’s seeing Willow, but says it’s not going anywhere. She said Willow’s heart just doesn’t seem “in it.”

Baby Girl thinks the first thing we need to do is get down to the bottom of who is the father of Marmalade’s kittens. She said that on the rare occasions when her parents let her in the house, she sometimes sees them watching a show called Maury. On that show a man has people on that disagree about who a baby’s daddy is. We wondered if Mr. Maury ever has guest cats? Maybe he would have Marmalade, Ryder, and Willow on his show? I decided to write him and ask.

maury-guest

maury-babydaddy

I hope Mr. Maury will help us!

I don’t know where all of this is going, but I do know that it doesn’t look good for Steve. And with Violet pushed to the brink eating her feelings and Ethel reeling from an eternally elusive singing career, it doesn’t look good for me, either.

33 thoughts on “Willow, you ??? the father…

  1. WOW…….this is better than a human soap opera…..lots of characters – everybody’s sleeping with everybody else – nobody knows for sure who their baby-daddy is!! I do think this is purrrrfect material for Maury. He deals with this stuff all the time……meanwhile, the BEST part is everyone seems to get along with everyone else regardless of the relationships although I’m a bit worried about Violet and Ethel. Maybe Dr. Phil could help them?

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It sounds like you’ve got a love pentagon there… hexagon if you include Steve. Do you include unrequited love in those sorts of things? This has gotten awfully messy awfully fast! (Maybe the neighborhood needs a Valium salt lick??)

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Dear Baby Girl
    What the fudge is happening over at yours !! all Neurotic Cat does is sleep, will I have to put with all these carrying ons once she starts to brave the cold outdoors once more
    One anxious rottweiler Oscar xx

    Liked by 2 people

      • I thought it was bad enough having Mrs P and her crafting obsession with rabbits…you saw the 6 foot one on my about page ?? now Neurotic Cat is going to be the talk of the village with her moggie circle of friends ?? I’m going to book time with the therapist right now !!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I did! I feel for you, Oscar. I really do! You’re too young to have these kinds of stresses. A therapist isn’t a bad idea — just make sure you get a licensed professional. I’m having my doubts about Baby Girl’s Life Coach training.

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  4. This is unbelievable. You sound completely stressed and I fear Steve is going to need therapy for his heartbreak. And Willow – is his trail of promiscuity a cry for help? Is he straight or is FelExodus a cult that has brainwashed him? Good luck Carol. I feel your pain.

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