[New to my blog or missed last Friday’s post? You might want to read this first.]
Well, I’m afraid I was unsuccessful in deterring Steve from joining the Springhill Ballers. I warned him that his new friend Gus, leader of the Ballers, has a checkered past which could spell trouble. But Steve didn’t care. All he was worried about was finding the right outfit for his initiation.
After trying on too many of Ethel’s costumes to count, looking through countless issues of our moms’ Vogue Knitting, and scouring Ravelry, Steve finally settled on what he thought was the perfect outfit. He even used our moms’ Amazon Prime account to order it so he’d have it in time for his initiation. I hope I’m there when our moms see THAT mystery charge!
In the days building up to Steve’s initiation, I hardly slept a wink because of an incessant flow of feline visitors at our windows. This gang definitely has made Steve more popular!
The day of the initiation Steve was a ball of nerves. We had to go over his escape plan several times to make sure he could sneak out of the house while our moms were away at work. [I’m not telling you how he did this, but it’s the same way we got Baby Girl INSIDE the house for our Rebirthing Exercise.]
Then Steve tried on his outfit a million times making us all tell him how great he looks. Of course our sister, Ethel, refused to say anything nice and instead told him he could take his outfit and put it where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m not sure where that is — maybe the hamper? It’s pretty dark in there.After Steve left, I waited by the window for him to return. While I was hanging out, our neighbor, Baby Girl, came to see me saying she had new information about why the Springhill Ballers, not the Creekview Disciples, want Steve in their gang.
As it turns out, the leader of the Creekview Disciples is none other than Scruffy! Remember him?
[If you don’t remember, or are new to my blog, my brother Steve had a boyfriend named Willow. Willow broke up with Steve after being pressured by a group called FelExodus to abandon his “lifestyle” and date female felines. When that didn’t work out for Willow [imagine my surprise!], Willow started dating Scruffy. Steve was devastated that not only did Willow not want him back, but he chose a ruffian over him. And I mean devastated. He even let his abs go for awhile there. I was very worried. But back to my story….]
Baby Girl told me that the Springhill Ballers invited Steve to join their gang in order to make Scruffy mad! I knew there had to be a reason… they were using Steve! Suddenly I felt very bad for him.
Just as Baby Girl was getting to the good stuff, Steve came sulking through the yard, looking completely dejected. I helped him inside and he told us that the night was a total bust. He said the fellas laughed at his outfit! They told him he couldn’t be initiated until he came back in a “Real Tom’s” clothes. But Steve didn’t understand what they meant. He thought he looked tough!
After all, he’d done extensive research and modeled the outfit on what he thought was the human equivalent of a tough – yet undeniably handsome — street hustler.Steve wondered where did he go wrong? What upset him even more was that on his way home he passed by Willow and some of his compatriots. He heard them hootin’ and hollerin’ and thought they were laughing at him, too.
Our canine sister, Eggnog, joined us saying she overheard our conversation and thought maybe she could help. She said we were too young to remember, but in her past she had experience with thug life and had some ideas on what Steve could do differently to fit in. That seemed to make Steve feel better.
In the meantime, I’m going to track down Baby Girl to get, as one of my favorite storytellers, Paul Harvey, would say, “The Rest of the Story.”