Things have been crazy around here lately, and as if dealing with a more-irritable-than-usual Ethel wasn’t enough, we have not been able to get on the computer for almost a week!
Now that it’s spring and [from what I hear] beautiful outside, our moms aren’t spending nearly as much time sitting on the sofa knitting as they did all winter. Instead, they have what they call an “ever-evolving” flower and bird garden they’re working on in our backyard. Something I’ll never get to enjoy – other than from the window.
Evidently gardening means doing lots of research, because they’ve commandeered my computer. And, to make matters worse, Little Mom is even taking my computer with her DURING THE WEEKDAYS. [Violet said I should be mindful that it’s not actually MY computer, but I think her viewpoint is skewed in favor of our moms.]
Lack of internet access and no social media means lots of together time, and boy, are these guys getting on my nerves!
Steve, who passed his initiation into the Springhill Ballers [by getting our neighbor cat, Bubbles, to do his dirty work], has been whining about how he NEEDS the computer to do Craigslist research for Gus and the Ballers. [He didn’t say for what – I need to find that out!] He says he’s no good to his “toms” if he can’t complete such a simple assignment. I told him maybe he could cheat his way through this task, too! He said Bubbles lives outside and doesn’t have a computer. Poor Steve doesn’t get sarcasm.
Walter’s been fretting because he thinks our person that’s away at college is supposed to be coming home soon, but with no computer he can’t stalk her Twitter account to see. He has absolutely no idea what she’s doing and it’s driving him crazy!
This week is Sherman’s turn at Wordless Wednesday, or what I call the once weekly hijacking of my blog. Sherman’s concerned that, with no computer, his turn will be skipped and he’ll have to wait another month. Heaven forbid.
When Sherman’s anxious, he becomes especially bossy. Walter explained to me that Sherman [aka The General] likes to be in control and when he feels out of control he works twice as hard to try to establish order. Of course Walter went on to say that The General’s sense of control is illusory because, ultimately, we’re all at the whims of a vast, cold, and uncaring universe. I guess ideas like that are why Walter takes Prozac.
Meanwhile, Ethel is still mad at Steve about his stealing her Eli Lilly commercial out from under her. Of course the loss has nothing to do with her diva attitude and list of demands! Ethel claims the only thing getting her through the trauma is all the support she received from her “fans” after her post [on MY blog, I might add]. Without the computer and, hence, the attention – excuse me, I mean “support” – Ethel says that she just can’t go on.
And then I have my sister, Eggnog, telling me that our moms are onto my blog and are fed up with all the drama I’ve created and that’s why the computer’s gone. The drama I’VE created?! I’m just one cat reporting what I see. It’s not MY drama. I can’t help it if I have a gay brother who joined a street gang, or a curmudgeon-y sister with no talent who aspires to fame.
Thank goodness Violet is being reasonable. Being such an old lady, she just wants us all to leave her alone so she can sleep.
And I’m especially thankful for our neighbor, Baby Girl. To help with all of this stress, she turned me onto something she calls “aromatherapy.” Basically, rolling around on surfaces that our moms have cleaned with various solutions. My favorite is vinegar, but lemongrass oil is great as well. Baby Girl says it cleanses “the mind, body, and spirit.” I don’t know about cleansing, but it’s pretty fun and I like smelling like vinegar for hours afterward.
I have the computer now, but I don’t know for how long. Our moms are at the store buying more flowers, but will be back soon. If Eggnog’s right, this might be my last post. Ever.