(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. Carol reported to me that many of you are asking for updates on the status of my request for the Joint Chiefs of the Household Headquarters to relocate my troop basket.

After a surprisingly brief discussion on the sofa, while also knitting and watching a true-crime HBO documentary, the Joint Chiefs made a decision. Citing the tendency of the troops to spill out of their basket and clog up the entry way, Little Mom suggested moving them to a more “out of the way” location. Out of the way?! Frankly, I find such callous disregard for my soldiers’ contributions offensive!

Then, LOUD Mom had the audacity to suggest they sort through my troops and GET RID OF the ones I don’t use!!! How do they know which soldiers I use?! Some are special forces, that I only need under certain circumstances. Not to mention that others aren’t used because I CAN’T GET TO THEM!!!

So at 22:43 hours on Monday, May 18th, 2015, my troops were relocated… to the opposite corner of the living room.

relocation

basket_photo-relocated

You may recall that this is not one of the options I presented. First, though the new position does provide 360 degrees of access to my troops, the location is suboptimal. As you can see from the below diagram, I am forced to make a significant detour en route to the back yard.

routes

Walter, already frustrated with the time I take in selecting the proper troop to accompany me to the back door every morning [so much for delayed gratification!], does not have the patience to wait even longer for me to traverse this extra distance. Not to mention, I keep forgetting where they placed the basket, which leaves me momentarily confused, adding unnecessary seconds onto a preciously limited amount of time.

sherman-confused-troops

I know my troops are around here somewhere….

For now, I will have to work with what I have been given and hope they forget LOUD Mom’s plan to downsize my brigade. I suspect the Joint Chiefs would not take kindly to any hint of displeasure with their highly anticipated decision.

9 thoughts on “(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

  1. Keep the faith, General! The dogs that run this house suggest that you might think about relocating your special ops troops on your own….stash them in a secure location before they can be reassigned by the moms.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Oh yes – that would be my suggestion also – stashing some of your troops in a secret/secure spot where the Moms can’t find them until they perform the “purge” (which we think is borderline cruelty) of your Troops. Purrhaps if you relocate enough of them they’ll think “poor Sherman, he hardly has any Troops at all in his basket!” and they will put a halt to this capricious purge idea of theirs. You can then slooooooooooooooowly return all Troops to the basket. I realize the new location is not OPTIMAL, but you will find a shorter route to their encampment in time. I’m sure of it……you are, after all, “The General” !

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello, Sammy! Yes, I began covertly relocating my special forces soldiers to undisclosed locations throughout the house. Unfortunately, due to the stink of Ethel’s perfume, her room is off limits which makes this task more challenging. I very much like your idea of relocating additional troops to create the illusion of a troop deficit. Very smart! If only I could sneak some out back to bury….

      Liked by 1 person

  3. General, despite the possibility of a permanent furlough of many of your troops, and that looming honorable separation of the most war-ravaged members, I would suggest that you attempt to work with the JC on this. Getting overly indignant with their commands may backfire in the end. True leaders know when to maintain their position and plan for strategic negotiations when the time is right. You sir, seem to be a true leader in my book.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes, you are right, Deb! I need to think big picture here. Avoid the traps of focusing on the immediate. Not allow fear to dictate my actions. I am The General, and I should act like it. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

      Going forward I will think strategically. Perhaps if I willingly sacrifice a few of the lesser troops (such as the rubber chicken who contributes little to my campaign and is not taken seriously by his fellow soldiers), I can save the ones I need – and maybe make room for new cadets. I will take control of the situation without the Joint Chiefs ever realizing that I have the upper paw!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. General, I must concur with Deb about avoiding confrontation with the Joint Chiefs and keeping your powder dry for now. And while I understand your trepidation about losing some of your troops, I must say that having seen the size of your forces, I find myself quite envious. I will have to speak to my People about increasing the size of my staff, which looks rather puny by comparison.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Perhaps I can send some of my lesser forces your way, Albert? I specifically have one rubber chicken in mind, but there are others. They would make excellent administrative helpers – they’re just not very good soldiers!

      Liked by 1 person

      • That is a very kind offer, Sherman. I am currently in discussions with my People regarding staffing concerns. I will let you know!
        Meanwhile, good luck with your situation. If some of your troops are not really cut out for the soldiering life, perhaps downsizing is not such a bad idea after all?

        Liked by 1 person

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