The final Coke.

steve-12_profile-circleSteve here. You’re lucky I’m able to blog after the near miss we had the other day! And Carol’s lucky I think quick on my paws!

Hearing what was going down with our moms seeing Ethel’s terrifying, bare-all pictures for Arnold on the computer, and knowing Carol was frozen in fear on LOUD Mom’s lap unable to react, I used my street smarts to think fast and create a diversion.

How, you ask? I made a running leap, pounced on Ethel, and rolled her around a few times to get her good and mad! Fur flew everywhere and Ethel wailed as though I was killing her, causing all three of our humans to come running. 

That gave Carol more than enough time to hide the files, erase the search history, and shut down the computer. By the time our moms made it back to the computer, Carol was curled up on the keyboard pretending to be fast asleep.

You’re welcome for the diversion, Carol.

But enough about that. Let’s talk about Steve. I was chilling on the kitchen island the other day while my moms were at work when I saw this:

Bachelor-Coke_Steve

Share a Coke with Steve? Why’d no one tell me Coke has a competition where the winner gets to share a Coke with me?

I’ll bet Carol was hiding this from me. She gets so jealous when anyone else benefits from “her” blog. Of course the world wants more Steve. Don’t blame me. It’s not my fault I’m irresistible.

steve-collar

I can only imagine that Coke has some type of Bachelor-style competition in mind. A slew of handsome young Toms vying for my attention.

Bachelor-Ad

Bachelor-Ad_Steve

Being in the Springhill Ballers has put an unexpected crimp in my dating life. I thought I’d meet lots of Toms, but the fellas in the gang aren’t my type. I’m a sucker for a bow tie and good manners. So this whole Bachelor thing couldn’t come at a better time.

I was telling my brother, Walter, about the competition and how Carol had hidden it from me. Walter said that before I start dating again I need to get to know myself. What’s that supposed to mean? I know me. I’m Steve.

Besides, Walter said the whole thing makes him nervous. What doesn’t?

walter-cowering4

When I told The General he said that if I’m so worried about having good abs, I should avoid the empty calories of soft drinks. He told me that he strictly rations chewies for his soldiers in order to keep them fit for battle. Has The General looked in a mirror lately?

sherman-gut

But Eggnog was the worst. She said reality television is for losers who have no talent. Eggnog droned on about how much work it takes to get a paw in the door in the music industry. How she worked hard to make connections with artists like Eminem, Snoop Dogg, and Missy Elliott.

Eggnog-yNogg+Eminem-tracks

“Eggnog-y Nogg” said these reality stars come in and act like idiots in front of a camera and suddenly they’re getting book deals and recording contracts – and that makes her mad.

Kim Zolciak of the Atlanta Housewives. Image Credit: Bravo TV.

Kim Zolciak of the Atlanta Housewives. Image Credit: Bravo TV.

Hey, it’s not my fault that Eggnog took the difficult route. This is my chance at love and I’m not letting it go!

21 thoughts on “The final Coke.

  1. Give me a break, Steve. I’m NOT jealous. You’re so full of yourself. Our person that’s away at college bought that Coke to drink. She probably thought it was cute that it had your name on it. There’s no dating competition, no reality show. Please stick to naps and working your abs and stay off of MY blog!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Steve, you realize I hope that there’s no guarantee that a good-mannered Tom would win this Coke competition. Unless you have some way to rig the whole thing you could find yourself sharing that drink, and more, with a large unfriendly creature who is not looking for long-term love and devotion. You know you deserve better Steve.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This might give you a big head, but. I must say I had to quickly close my laptop and grab the smelling salts for all three of my female felines. They were all swooning over you in a most unfelinelike manner. I think I’ve finally gotten them all conscious again, but I’m refusing to open the laptop in their presence for a while, no matter how much they keep pawing at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s high time that Bachelor series had a shake-up (or shake-down even) and brought the show into the REAL “reality” of equal opportunity dates – cats need love too. What’s with only having humans in this thing up to now? Who does their marketing? Who is their creative director? Say – Steve – if the dating angle doesn’t work for you when you approach the Bachelor Peeps, show them your resume and pitch for a JOB with them. Good say to meet eligible cats too…….See? I’m always thinking…..(about weird stuff but at least I’m thinking).

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey, bro! You’re a genius! Use this opportunity to leverage bigger and better things.

      I think you’d be an asset to the Ballers. We could use brains like yours. Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll talk to Gus. Thanks!

      Like

  5. Steve – you’re the cat’s meow, er… uh… You’re great. Any Tom would be lucky to have you. Stay true to who you are and your Mr. Right will find you – reality competition or not! (While I am compelled to tell you not to pursue the reality show/competition, I know better. 🙂 )

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Steve–just a quick word about Carol before we bring it all back to you. I am amazed that she was able to get on the computer and take care of business, so to speak, so quickly. Of course, thanks to you and the diversion, but still…wow. The photo of you as the Bachelor is amazing, really, really amazing. Looking good, Steve!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! This body doesn’t sculpt itself.

      Carol did alright – thanks to my quick thinking! Poor thing looked like a deer in headlights. But, then, that’s always how Carol looks 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: The Battle of Bull(y) Run | creekviewcarol

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