Hello. I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Carol’s brother, Walter. For this Wordless Wednesday guest blog post I thought inviting my sister, Violet, to participate with me would be nice. She’s old and quiet and seems wise. I find her stillness comforting. (Especially in THIS house!) We don’t interact often, but I feel a connection to Violet.
My idea was to have Violet interview me. When I visited her room to offer her this opportunity, she was sleeping. She sleeps a lot. I waited patiently for her to awaken. And waited, and waited, and waited. When she finally awoke, I was so excited that my tail started wagging and I couldn’t help but blurt out the words! I think perhaps I overwhelmed her with my enthusiasm because she blinked a few times, put her head down, and went back to sleep.
Maybe this isn’t going to work. Since I already prepared my questions, I’m going to go ahead and conduct the interview as though Violet was awake. I hope you don’t mind.
VIOLET [if she was awake]: Walter, you seem like such a courageous dog. I often hear you barking in the backyard through the window in my room. You seem to be fighting valiantly. Who are these enemies you keep at bay?
ME [Walter]: Currently, I am waging war against the squirrels. They trespass in our yard, then run when they catch sight of me, climbing trees and power lines like cowards.
But there are other threats to our territory – the biggest [literally and figuratively] being the neighbor. In the three years I have been alive, he has not dared to cross the boundary into our yard, but I suspect that’s due to my [and Eggnog’s] tireless defense. I am certain he is plotting sinister schemes.
VIOLET: Walter, you have such long, skinny legs that seem to go unappreciated by the others. What do you see as the advantages of having long stick legs?
ME [Walter]: What an excellent question, Violet. I must say that my legs are quite advantageous. As opposed to a canine like Sherman, who has short, squat legs, I run quickly and can turn on a dime. Sometimes I even run on three legs just to turn faster and more sharply! I’d like to see Sherman do that! [Sorry, General, no offense. I forgot you sometimes run on three legs because of your gimpy back leg. You say it’s an old war injury, but I’m not so certain.] My stick legs also allow me to stretch taller, which means I have an easier time getting our humans’ attention when I want them to play fetch with me or pick me up.
VIOLET: Walter, are you as anxious as our brothers and sisters and moms say? Perhaps you are just smarter than them and they’re mistaking your intellectual curiosity for anxiety?
ME [Walter]: Why, thank you, Violet. You’re too kind. At least I think you are. You meant that about me being smart, right? You weren’t just poking fun at me because you, too, think I’m neurotic?! Wait, technically I asked the question because you’re sleeping, so of course you meant it. Okay, we’re good. Thank you!
VIOLET: Walter, of everyone here, who loves you best?
ME [Walter]: My person that’s away at college [but thankfully home for the summer] of course! I am undoubtedly her favorite.I, Walter, would like to thank Violet for conducting such an informative, interesting, and thorough interview. I’m sorry she didn’t wake up to hear it!