(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

Finally, the recognition that I deserve.

– Ethel

ethel_p&g-letter


Dear Ethel,

Hello. My name is Lou and I work for a company called Procter & Gamble. I found you through your sister Carol’s delightful blog! You are very fortunate that Carol so generously includes you in her informative and thought-provoking observational reports. But enough about Carol’s entertaining and award-winning blog. Let’s talk about YOU!

Procter & Gamble makes a line of cleaning products called Swiffer. Perhaps you have heard of them? Maybe your moms use a Swiffer mop?

In order to stay on top of our competitors, Procter & Gamble is constantly creating new technologies to improve our customers’ lives. Recently, our Research and Development division came up with a prototype for a Feline Swiffer ®. And that’s where you come in!

We at Procter & Gamble think you, Ethel, are just the cat to test this product! You see, this new Feline Swiffer makes cleaning a snap for your moms and takes virtually no effort on your part. That’s right – NO effort! You do nothing, yet get to be the star of the household!

Let me explain. When the furry beasts go outside, they come back in the house with filthy paws, tracking dirt all over your pretty hardwood floors. Then your brother, Steve, gets in the litter box and tracks dust around YOUR bedroom. Horrible!

All of this means that your moms have to take time out of their busy schedules – time that could be spent petting you – to mop. Or do they? With the new Feline Swiffer, your moms dress you in a stylish Feline Swiffer “wrap” and your tempting tummy cleans the floors as you walk. Yes, your dragging belly picks up all that dust and dirt, shining the hardwood floors as you move from room to room. Virtually no extra work for you, and your moms will hail you as the household hero!

If you agree to work with us at Procter & Gamble, you will receive all the yummy hypoallergenic treats you can eat and a bed even more luxurious than your sister, Violet’s. Maybe we can work something out to get your brother, Steve, relocated. No promises, but we’ll try. And I almost forgot to mention that we will use you in all of our advertising – television, print, and radio. We hear you have an amazing singing voice!

All you have to do is agree to wear our fashionable Feline Swiffer wraps around the house – oh, and stay on the first floor. You cannot – I repeat, CANNOT – wear the Feline Swiffer fashion wrap upstairs. To ensure reliable results for our testing, you must remain on the first floor and STAY OUT of your person that’s away at college [but home for the summer]’s bedroom. But that shouldn’t be any trouble, right? Just imagine how wonderful it will be when the world gets to hear you sing the jingle for the new Feline Swiffer!

Thank you for your consideration, Ethel. We look forward to hearing from you!

Warmest regards, 

Lou Kout

26 thoughts on “(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

  1. Well congratulations Ethel! This position seems to be absolutely purrfect for you, and almost seems as if it was created especially with you in mind…the specific attributes of the Feline Swiffer and detailed instructions about your use of it are uncanny given the situation of your household. Those folks at P&G certainly did their homework and know you, and your amazing capabilities very well. I hope that you snag this opportunity right away and if you feel so inclined, post some pictures as you test out this product.
    Best of luck.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Thank you, Miss Deb. I wasn’t sure what this letter was about at first. I figured they wanted to work with Steve just like the humans at Eli Lilly did. So I was pleasantly surprised when I figured out this letter was all for me! It’s a sacrifice, not going in my person that’s away at college’s bedroom, but I think it will be worth it in the end. And I will definitely share some exclusive photographs for my fans!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I enjoyed this very much…I can’t wait to see what comes next…these cats have quite the drama. Mine just play with jewelry, nail brushes and camera strings…well, and many other things they shouldn’t, in addition to demanding massages and other attention…speaking of massages…Putzer says my time is up.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, well, well…..now THIS is an offer that would be hard to refuse Ethel. Easy for you to do, comes with perks like the possibility of a “Steve relocation” and some treats AND a new bed, and most of all takes advantage of your most noticeable physical characteristic – THE GUT. Can’t wait to hear if you take P&G up on this offer! I can hear you singing that product jingle now!

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your support, Sammy. This definitely is an offer I can’t refuse! I already started writing the jingle – I think they’ll love it! Make sure your mom and dad don’t fast forward through commercials – you might miss mine!

      Like

  4. Ethel–dear sweet Ethel. I am not too sure about this letter. Look at the signature–Lou Kout. Does not sound a little bit like Look Out to you? I know, I know. It’s just a gut feeling (nothing personal by the reference to your gut), but you might not want to pounce on this one right away.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You’re the second human to express concern. I think you are confused, though. His name isn’t Look Out – it’s Lou Kout. See how different they are?

      I appreciate that you are looking out for me. Too many humans try to take advantage of others’ fame, but not you. When I become the most famous feline vocalist in the world, I will remember your kindness.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ethel, you are so right. I do see the difference and I stand corrected. And when you become famous, it will be my absolute pleasure to say, “I knew her when….”

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Ethel you should most definitely look into this. Maybe you could model the wrap and add some bling. This seems to appeal to your love of performing and being at the center of your moms attention. Keep us in the loop…..it seems that Lou really knows a lot about you. 😻

    Liked by 1 person

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