A Message from Baby Girl [Lakshmi]

Enemy_tortie_profile-circleHello, my fellow sentient creatures. My name is Lakshmi, though you may know me better as Baby Girl.

As the neighborhood’s Spiritual Guide and Life Coach, I have grave concerns about certain incidents at Carol’s house, and I feel compelled to communicate with the sentient beings of the outside world; that is, you dear readers.

How is it that I have undertaken to guest blog (I prefer electronically guide you) is a question you may be asking yourselves. Your ingratitude in even questioning my presence is evident but forgiven, so I will answer: I am contacting you through the help of Carol’s handsome brother, Steve. Under the current circumstances, I could not seek Carol’s permission (I prefer the term blessing) to guide you and so sought out dear Steve’s assistance.

sexy-steve-leather-queen

Isn’t he so handsome?

Why would Steve assist me in sharing my personal word with you? He did this in exchange for my willingness to pass a note from him to my brother, Willow. Once I delivered the note to Willow, Steve shared the password to Carol’s blog with me.

note-to-willow

As you know, I am Carol’s most trusted advisor and mentor. We share a deep history, Carol and I. When her brother, Steve, was torn asunder after my brother, Willow, dumped him, Carol came to me for help. Through my Vision Board exercise, Steve was able to imagine other possibilities.

steve-vision-board

What’s YOUR Vision?

I do not deny that the stick-legged one, Walter, criticized my methodology. But he is a furry beast after all, and an anxious one at that.

steve-vision-board-walter-edits

Clearly, Walter does not understand this exercise.

As a matter of fact, I am writing a treatise on breathing exercises for Walter that will fix all of his problems, at least once he accepts that I can fix his life because he doesn’t know how.

baby-girl_life-coach-bc

Even you can do these exercises, readers. Together now: Breathe in deeply, hold for 15 seconds. Exhale, forcing all of your negative feelings away from your mind and your body. Reach your paws (or hands) up to the sky and take in the energy provided by our mother sun. Feel better? Yes, you do. And now I do, too.

Another way in which I provided spiritual and intellectual assistance to them was when Carol’s sister, Ethel, needed guidance to pursue her dream of becoming the feline Barbra Streisand. It was my recommendation of The Secret that changed Ethel’s life for the better.

ethel-secret

The only thing that could make The Secret better is if my guru Gwyneth Paltrow had written it.

And when chaos erupted last Spring, whose innovative Rebirthing exercise channeled the household’s out-of-control energies into more useful outlets? That’s right, MINE. (Sometimes I amaze myself at my insight and ability to manage those who are not enlightened enough to manage themselves…it is a cross I bear willingly to help those in need.)

rebirthing_ethel

rebirthing_walter

rebirthing_eggnog

Anyway, just as I was making progress most recently with Ethel—bestowing upon her my patented meditation teachings—Carol intervened with a fabricated letter about cleaning inventions.

ethel-swiffer-model

A grave injustice.

And before that, Carol and that beast, The General, even utilized guerrilla practices at one time to bar Ethel physically from accessing the room. I was aghast when I heard about it and had to immediately ingest a colonic to cleanse myself. ethel-troops-struggling-04

Why would Carol engage in such base and unseemly practices? Why would she turn against all of my teachings? Supposedly because Ethel would not let Carol in their person that’s away at college [but home for the summer]’s bedroom. I had advised Ethel to use that room as an integral part of her meditation practice – it’s the one place where she could center herself in solitude.

Ethel on her

Can you not see the beautiful, peaceful light in Ethel’s eyes?

I explained this to Carol. But she did not listen. (Breathe in deeply. Hold. Exhale. Feel better? Yes, you do.)

I am very disappointed in Carol. Why did she not come to me for guidance rather than concocting such a provincial prank with that letter, especially after the beastly military endeavor? I could have helped her reframe and accept her situation for the greater good of all.

Please excuse me for one moment while I align my chakras….My apologies for the interruption.

I find this situation deeply upsetting. I suspect Carol is pulling away from me for subconscious reasons. It does not help that her sister, Eggnog, dislikes me simply because she’s too shallow to understand my practices, not to mention the subterfuge of the stick-legged one to “deconstruct” my spiritual pedagogy.

I will need to fathom a way to effect a conscious spiritual re-coupling with Carol to bring order back into their lives. More simply put for you dear sentient readers: fix Carol’s and the rest of their lives, because clearly, they still do not know how regardless of my previous efforts.

This will require new and perhaps more extreme measures beyond what I advised or administered previously. I will consult with my guru, Gwyneth Paltrow, whose GOOP guide continues to bring me to a new level of mindfulness and self-discovery every day.

goop

Ms. Paltrow’s wisdom knows no bounds.

I know I can do this. I can fix them. Because they need it and they need me, and eventually, I feel that they ALL will be grateful that I know what’s best for them.

Again, breathe in deeply, hold. Exhale, reach your paws to the sky and take in all of that beautiful positive energy I’m channeling to you. I am not the sun, but I’m the next best thing. Feel better? Yes you do. And now I do, too. Namaste.

28 thoughts on “A Message from Baby Girl [Lakshmi]

    • I’m so happy you agree. I just finished leading a weekend sweat lodge retreat in Illinois. If you are a seeker of enlightenment, I’d be happy to guide you to higher spiritual realms. Namaste.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Gosh…….life can certainly be complicated in a multi-animal household. Suddenly I’m feeling a lot better not just from the breathing exercises (thanks!) but from realizing that it’s pretty danged good being the only cat/animal in my home. Nobody’s feelings to be hurt, no undermining of plans needed, no strategy planning to get revenge on anyone……..SIMPLE = BETTER. See? You helped me and you hadn’t even intended to do that with your guest blog! Thank you oh wise one.

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 2 people

    • My apologies for not responding more quickly, Brother Sammy. I spent my weekend leading a sweat lodge retreat in a remote area of Illinois. While it sounds like you lead a life of tranquility and peace as an only cat, perhaps you might be interested in some of my enlightenment workshops? Life is a journey without a destination, my Friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lakshmi, it is truly interesting to have the opportunity to read your viewpoints and be allowed to understand a bit of your world view regarding varied species, multiple numbers cohabitation (VSMNC). I can imagine that it must be difficult as you surely have to be one of, or perhaps the only practitioner of counseling those in the midst of VSMNC.
    Carol respects you greatly, however- agency and the exploration of one’s place within the social order of VSMNC is something that must be recognized and acknowledged as available to Carol, or other members of the household as well. Please try to understand that advice, while excellent and timely, must guide, not create an environment whereby any cat, or dog or human cannot heard or regarded as completely valid in their needs and concerns.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Why, hello, Deb. My apologies for not getting back to you earlier – I was leading a sweat lodge retreat in a remote village in Illinois, disconnected from the trappings of modern living.

      Carol has told me much about you. She considers you to be very wise for a human. Of course I remind Carol that humans have their spiritual limitations.

      Indeed, you are correct that I am the only Life Coach certified to work with those suffering from living a life of VSMNC. The challenges of treating the condition are many. Carol’s household is the most complex case I’ve come across. Of course I’m more than up to the task. She’s very lucky to have me.

      I must say that this term “Agency” that you mention is a word with which I am unfamiliar. You can rest assured that Carol and her siblings will come through their situation more enlightened and fulfilled so long as they listen to me and do EXACTLY as I say.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for taking the time to reply. I do appreciate knowing that you took note of my thoughts, although it seems that we hold somewhat divergent opinions on the process involved in settling Carol’s issues and household. “Agency” is a term used within many philosophical and social science settings…you may want to do a bit of research on its meaning and application. Perhaps Lakshmi you may find some way to connect your philosophy and practice with the concepts associated with agency. I do hope that Carol and her siblings come away, in the end, with fulfillment and peace regarding their home and decisions made within, no matter how they arrive at that place. It has been a pleasure gaining insight into your views.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I will investigate this thing you call Agency. Perhaps Ms. Paltrow is familiar with the concept. I’ll start with a terminology search on GOOP. Thank you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Namaste, Baby Girl. The stress Carol is going through must be awful. I don’t think she is pulling away… not too away. Maybe just a little. Maybe she is trying to put to use what she has learned from you. She thinks you are very wise. I would not be too hard on her. I’m going to inhale now…thank you so much for this wonderful technique. Yes, I do feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course you feel better 😉 Your concern for Carol is admirable. Perhaps she is trying her best to implement my lessons. After all, she’s not me. Some of my techniques are challenging for the novice. I will try to go easier on her. You are a true friend, indeed. Namaste.

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  4. I want to pass on to you-all today’s poem from The Writer’s Almanac:

    A republic of cats – by Marge Piercy

    Nobody rules. They all
    take turns. I can never
    tell who will chase who
    playing war over the couch
    and chairs, round and
    round again until suddenly
    they stop as if a whistle
    blew in their heads.
    Five of them, aged fifteen
    to two. Who will curl
    together making one cushion
    of patchwork fur? Who
    will painstakingly lick
    a friend, washing and
    cuddling. Who will growl
    at their friend of last hour?
    The one rule is where each
    sleeps at night, their spot
    in the bed and with whom?
    It is written in bone.

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    • How wonderful! I’m not familiar with this Marge Piercy, but she seems to have peered into my home. And she was entirely right about sleeping arrangements being written in bone. 😉

      Like

  5. I know Carol has the greatest respect for you. There isn’t a time when she mentions you that she doesn’t remark how smart you are. She has her paws full and probably feels she mustn’t constantly call on you but rather try and manage some of these matters on her own, just going off her intuition. Be patient, you are so wise and enlightened. It is nice to see you post on the blog. Namaste 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello. I must apologize for my delay in responding. It seems that someone changed the password to the blog, but thankfully I was able to procure the new one.

      What you say makes great sense. Carol is a bright student, but perhaps overestimates her skills. I will be patient with my young pupil and encourage her to seek my guidance more freely.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Fair and Balanced | creekviewcarol

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