Squirrel Wars

I don’t know who I’m more mad at – Steve for giving Baby Girl the password to my blog, or Baby Girl for going behind my tail to get my blog’s password! Thankfully Walter helped me change Steve’s password and I’m not giving him the new one until he promises to think of others before he thinks of himself. That’ll be the day!!!

Ugh, Steve wears me out sometimes.

But first, I must apologize to you. Things have been so busy here I’m afraid I’ve neglected my blogging responsibilities. There’s been a frenzy of activity, from visitors, to vacations, to my moms getting married… yes, married! Not to mention growing tensions between the neighborhood squirrels and my canine brothers. So many things to observe that I wish there were two or three of me!! And so I apologize for not visiting your blogs or posting more on mine.

wedding

My moms got gay married!!!

Speaking of the squirrels, I’m beginning to worry for my brothers’ safety. The squirrels have always been around (I watch them compete with the birds at the feeders from my sunny spot in the window), but lately they’ve started stirring up trouble, really prodding the boys. The General and Walter may be bigger, but the squirrels have numbers. And I mean NUMBERS.

Walter, who is normally very analytical, loses all sense of perspective when he catches sight of one of those little brown rodents hanging from the bird feeder taunting him mercilessly. If LOUD Mom were home, she’d bang on the windows to scare them off (as successful at keeping the squirrels away as Sisyphus was at getting that rock to the top of the hill). But they know when she’s gone, and they really ramp up their efforts.

squirre-feeder-baffle-04

Clearly, the baffle doesn’t baffle the squirrels!

As soon as one of our moms gets home and that back door opens, Walter and The General are off to the races, running — or, in The General’s case, trotting – in all directions to rid our yard of those varmints. The squirrels dart onto the fence then climb into the trees, laughing at the fellas from above as they stand below looking up and barking ferociously.

Walter eyes an enemy.

Walter eyes an enemy.

Walter and The General harbor the fantasy that they’ll catch each and every squirrel until one day there are none. But who are they kidding? Especially, The General! He has a better chance of winning the vet’s Biggest Loser competition than catching a squirrel!! And last time around he gained weight during the contest!

sherman-gut

The General wants to engage his troops in the effort, but LOUD Mom and Little Mom force him to abandon his troops at the door before going outside. So that’s a no go.

Corporal Jeff, forced to remain at the fort while The General surveys the battlefield.

Corporal Jeff, forced to remain at the fort while The General surveys the battlefield.

Complicating the situation, the squirrels seem to be in cahoots with other shady characters – like the mole that’s digging up our yard and the raccoon that took up residence in our crawl space during this year’s summer deluge. I’m pretty sure they’re all up to no good. Even the birds are getting in on the action, dive bombing the furry beasts when they go outside, confusing and distracting them from the chase!

Eggnog, who, because of her former gangsta thug life, is familiar with various criminal enterprises, says that the squirrels, moles, raccoons, and birds have developed a complex network of associations and are likely trafficking in bird seed and peanuts and using chipmunks as mules. That sounds like trouble to me!

chipmunk

That’s not too obvious.

After discussing the situation with his troops and Walter (who hid under a table in a fit of nerves over the situation), The General said the only solution is to form a partnership with an equally seedy element. One that has the ability to run fast, squeeze into tight spaces, and climb trees. Yes, Walter and Sherman want to form an alliance with The Springhill Ballers.

springhill-ballers

steve-gang-outfit-final

In Steve’s dreams….

Steve, who is accustomed to lazily watching the squirrels empty the feeders without batting a paw, doesn’t understand the frenzy. He says the squirrels are only tormenting you if you let them. (That’s actually kind of deep for Steve.) But seeing an opportunity to re-connect with his buddies in the gang, he offered to reach out to their leader, Gus.

mugshot-GUS

If Gus is willing to help, I’m worried about what he would want in return. I doubt The General would give up any of his troops, and I don’t think any of the Ballers would want to have Walter deconstructing what he calls their “gang discourse” or engage in a discussion with him over the “ideological impact of their destruction of flower beds,” whatever that means.

Gus is trouble, so I’m not sure where this is headed, but it can’t be good. Sometimes I miss the days where a moth flying along the ceiling was the only excitement going on in this house!

43 thoughts on “Squirrel Wars

  1. Carol–I have missed you! So glad you are back. First of all–Congratulations to your moms! I am very happy for them! Secondly–never give out your password. Gus is French? Oh, dear. Make sure all your dealings are in English, or at least use a translator you trust. You are right–he sounds like trouble. Keep us posted.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m happy to be back, though still very busy! I will give my moms your congratulations – thank you 🙂 It’s been an exciting month! No worries about messages getting lost in translation – Gus is from Paris, KY. Of course sometimes his Kentucky accent can be a little hard to understand!! Thanks for coming back after I’ve been away so long!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Carol, my face is alight with joy over the news of your moms marriage. Please tell them how happy I am and congratulations. I hope that all of you enjoyed the ceremony and The General’s gut hasn’t grown larger from overindulgence in wedding cake. This is the best news, and thus overshadows even the new events associated with your growing number of outdoor invaders. My biggest worry however, would come from the raccoon. We have had big ones, and an entire family, try to stand up to our Snowflake when she used to be allowed outside. As much as I feel odd saying this, what with the criminal element involved, I hope the Ballers, nor any feline, gets involved here. Harmless fun can be had chasing squirrels (plus EXERCISE is involved…remember someone’s gut) but a wayward encounter with a raccoon would really be scary.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you – I will give my moms your congratulations! It’s been such an unexpectedly exciting month!! I am sorry to report that The General’s waistline does seem a little thicker, despite the fact that he’s back on diet food…AGAIN. I’m pretty certain it’s all those wedding chewies!

      I will warn the boys about the dangers of the raccoon. I must say that after seeing the raccoon’s mask, I had my concerns! I’ll let the fellas know that if they or any of the Ballers come across this masked bandit, they should keep their distance. Thank you for your concern, Deb! And thank you for visiting!

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    • Thank you so much for the congratulations – I will pass this on to my moms!! And thank you for your concern. I’m sorry to have been away so long – I missed my blogging friends. It’s just been SO busy around here!! And now my person that’s away at college [but home for the summer] is about to be back away at college 😦 Where did the summer go?!

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  3. I missed you too, Carol. And I also send congratulations to your Moms!!!!
    Keep an eye on all those rodents. I had a squirrel here who buries peanuts in my flower pots. I had not idea how it got there until I saw the creature scampering across the lawn. And my fabulous feline friend Diavolo just looked at it. The squirrel, not the peanut.
    Anyway you have been very busy so thanks for taking time to post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And I’ve missed you! Thank you – I will give my moms your congratulations! Those squirrels are little rascals, aren’t they? I watch them building nests in our oak trees and see them digging around the yard and in my moms’ flower pots. Sounds like Diavolo and I have this pasttime in common 🙂 LOUD Mom feeds the squirrels corn thinking it’ll keep them away from the bird seed – unwittingly adding to their criminal trade.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you – I’ll tell my moms! And, between you and me, I’m not too optimistic about the boys defeating the squirrels, but I’ll let them know they have your enthusiastic support!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have missed you and your observations. First, CONGRATULATIONS to your moms! I hope they have a happy life.
    Now, one bit of advice to you: control your password and never, ever share it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello, Jean! I’ve missed my blogging friends very much! I’m hoping things will slow down again soon. Don’t get me wrong, I like having lots to observe, but I’m still a cat. We need our down time!

      I’ll pass along your congratulations and well wishes to my moms! Thank you. And thank you, also, for your words of wisdom about password security. The internet is a tricky place!

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  5. Wow!! So much going on… I’m glad to hear that everything is OK. I had just been checking my blog stream to make sure I didn’t miss any of your posts. We were all wondering what happened to you. Jacques understands all too well the torment that squirrels cause. He said he wishes he could offer you some advice but sadly has none. He is not sure, however, that getting a gangsta cat involved is the best idea. He wishes you luck and hopes that if you figure out how to rid your yard of those vermin you will share the secret.

    Congratulations to your moms!! That is incredibly exciting!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know – it’s been crazy around here! Or, I should say, crazier than usual 🙂 I’m sorry to hear Jacques has no advice for the boys when it comes to the squirrels. I agree that engaging the Ballers doesn’t seem like the best idea, but The General and Walter have lost their senses over the issue. I don’t think there’s any reasoning with them at this point! If Jacques has any epiphanies, please share! And thanks for the congratulations – I’ll tell my moms!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations to the Moms! Super cool. As for all the “invaders” aka squirrels, raccoons, etc. I think the more people (like the Ballers) the more trouble there will be coordinating the effort to rid your yard of introooders. Keep it simple. Regular patrols of the area will remind other critters whose yard they are invading and that there’s a considerable “presence” there to contend with. On the other hand, they may have actually SEEN all of you and realized that they might have the upper hand/paw. A conundrum. Add THAT to your list of things to do!

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Sammy! It’s so good to hear from you! Increased patrols is an excellent idea – I’ll tell the boys. The General would like to permanently station some of his troops at designated points throughout the yard, but he can’t seem to sneak any of them past the guards (aka our moms). And thank you for the congratulations – I’ll share this with my moms!

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  7. Carol, First – let me say I’m glad you’re back! I really missed your updates. Secondly, congratulations to your Moms on their marriage, that’s awesome and I wish them many happy years together.
    Next, I wanted you to know that I nominated you for an award called Encouraging Thunder. Here’s the link: https://spencesgirl.wordpress.com/2015/07/17/high-five-another-award-encouraging-thunder/
    I look forward to keeping up with your life and think you are right about keeping the password confidential….at least for now!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO MUCH for the nomination!! That was so kind of you! And thank you, also, for the congratulations!! I’ll do my best to keep the password safe, but am afraid Walter might barter it in his negotiations with Steve and the Ballers. Those boys are pretty desperate!!

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  8. I can’t believe I missed your first post back after far too long away – and nearly missed that news! A massive congratulations to your moms and I’m glad the squirrel wars didn’t impede on the wedding (it could’ve got messy!) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! And you’re SO right – I hadn’t even considered the havoc those dreadful squirrels could have wreaked on all of the festivities! Maybe The General and Walter are doing the right thing by entering negotiations with the Ballers….

      Liked by 1 person

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