Walter and The General are in the middle of what are turning out to be some messy negotiations with the Springhill Ballers. The fellas want to engage the Ballers in their effort to rid our yard of its seedy squirrel element. But the Ballers have a lot of demands that I don’t think the boys can meet, including providing fresh salmon for their annual gangsta picnic (our moms don’t even eat seafood, so how are they going to get their paws on that?!) and meeting 50 Cent in person (even Eggnog doesn’t talk to him anymore – she says he’s not as “relevant” as he once was). I guess time will tell.
The General has taken to watching quite a lot of news lately. I thought he was sleeping with the television on, but he claims he’s just resting his eyes. [His eyes may be resting, but his lungs aren’t – what a snore!]
The General said he hopes that by learning how humans handle their crises, he’ll be able to develop some alternative strategies with regard to defending our territory here at home.
Walter warned The General that humans have a terrible history of handling their own affairs. He said that of all canines, The General should know this. After all, he’s named after General Sherman, one of the greatest Generals of the American Civil War – a four-year war in which more than 600,000 humans and over 1.5 million horses died. Do you really want to seek guidance from a species that causes such destruction, Walter asked.
But The General disagreed. He said humans sent a man to the moon and built the pyramids. To which Walter reminded Sherman that the pyramids were built by enslaved peoples – strike two against humanity. But Sherman countered that humans also developed democracy – and invented peanut butter. Walter conceded on that final point. [Who doesn’t love peanut butter?!]
This discussion got me thinking. The other day when The General was “watching” the news, I heard the newscasters talking about hosting an upcoming debate for presidential candidates. Listening to the boys bantering, I thought to myself, We may not have any presidential candidates, but wouldn’t it be fun to host a debate anyway?
When I suggested this to the fellas, The General enthusiastically agreed. Poor Walter didn’t seem too keen on the idea, but relented nonetheless. I told them that I have just two requirements: 1) I get to write all of the questions and moderate the debate and 2) Baby Girl gets to participate. Baby Girl is just SO smart! Plus we need female representation (and I’m not so mad anymore that Steve gave her my blog password).
They protested that three participants was too many and would make the debate chaotic. I assured them that three was nothing – from what I’ve heard some very reputable debates host as many as TEN participants. Three should be a piece of cake!!
In the end the boys agreed, so I’d better get going and start doing my research. I have a lot of questions to write! Oh, and I’d better start watching for Baby Girl out the window. She’s going to be so excited!!
P.S. If you have questions you’d like to submit for my consideration, please share them below!