About Sherman

I bark orders, but nobody listens. Especially my pesky brother Walter.

Sleeping with the Enemy

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. My sister Carol is so busy keeping tabs on the comings and goings here that she’s neglected her blog. She claims she has her paws full with keeping us in order with our moms traveling more frequently, but that’s a bunch of cockamamie. If one of my troops failed to report for duty for months on end, I’d give them the boot!

While Carol frets over keeping tabs on that these limp noodles here, I’m dealing with a mutiny. Apparently some of my soldiers think Eggnog – Eggnog! – is a better leader than yours truly. What nonsense!

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Is this the face of a Leader?

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Now that’s more like it!

Before you accuse me of being a male chauvinist dog, hear me out. I’m tired of that little fluffball getting everyone’s sympathy! Eggnog’s the ONLY one in this house that sleeps in the bed with our moms, Eggnog’s the ONLY one that isn’t crated when our humans aren’t home, and Eggnog’s the ONLY one our moms take with them when they visit Grandpa (while the rest of us stay home with a “pet” sitter – the humiliation!).

Eggnog has all of these suckers feeling sorry for her while she lives in high cotton! But not me. I see through her machinations.

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See how terribly she suffers. Give me a break!

You might hear all of this and say Eggnog sounds like a brilliant leader. Maybe she is – if you think politicians make great leaders with all of their scheming and backroom deals. I, however, prefer to honor leaders with excellent moral character. Great men like General Sherman and Ronald Reagan.

It’s all very troubling. Every morning I come downstairs to find another of my soldiers has defected and joined Eggnog’s camp. First it was Lieutenant Dan – but given his history of hard living, I wasn’t too troubled by losing him.

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Look at Eggnog’s face. Caught red-pawed!

Next came Private Rick, a young lad who I knew was easily influenced. So I shrugged off that one, too.

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But then came the sock in the gut – Colonel Sanders, my trusted advisor that I called friend had turned coat.

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How could he? And to think I called him friend.

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The Colonel and me during better times.

That’s when I knew I had a problem on my paws. Swift action was required.

My first course of order was to submit a formal request to the Joint Chiefs of Staff requesting re-relocation of my troop basket.

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You need not remind me that the prior request resulted in the basket being moved to its current sub-par location. Frankly, given my current situation, I would submit to the troop basket being returned to its original spot.

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While terribly inconvenient for a canine of size like myself, at least in its prior location the troops are shielded and do not have a direct line to the enemy’s camp.

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Second, I recruited my brother, Walter, to conduct an investigation into the matter. I know, I know. Walter’s afraid of his own shadow, yet I’m sending him across enemy lines. But I’m a General and I know how to motivate – I promised Walter that if he completes his task successfully, I’ll stop calling him a ninny. As much.

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Ninny.

And, finally, I instituted a propaganda campaign in an attempt to stem the tide.

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It’s too soon to tell if my efforts will be fruitful, but I’m optimistic.

Better to fight for something, than live for nothing!

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. I recently learned about the humiliations contained in Carol’s last post. What nerve she has telling the world how I got stuck in the secret door! In my defense, that door was made for a cat. A cat! Do you know how squishy cats can be?

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So my getting stuck should come as no surprise. Heck, I’m PROUD I got stuck! What kind of pathetic dog would I be if I didn’t?

Do they want me to be like this skinny nincompoop?!

Sadly, not everyone sees it that way. Continue reading

A Tribute to My Troops

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. If you’ve followed recent events here, you’re aware of the valiant effort my troops sustained to keep my sister, Ethel, out of our person that’s away at college’s bedroom. You also know that their effort was for naught thanks to human intervention [i.e., LOUD Mom carrying Ethel to the room herself]. In thanks for their selflessness, Carol asked me to dedicate a guest blog post to my troops. 

I would like to introduce to you some of the bravest soldiers amongst my ranks. Their sacrifice and bravery in the face of a formidable foe [i.e., Ethel] are remarkable.

Sergeant Dan

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Continue reading

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. Carol reported to me that many of you are asking for updates on the status of my request for the Joint Chiefs of the Household Headquarters to relocate my troop basket.

After a surprisingly brief discussion on the sofa, while also knitting and watching a true-crime HBO documentary, the Joint Chiefs made a decision. Citing the tendency of the troops to spill out of their basket and clog up the entry way, Little Mom suggested moving them to a more “out of the way” location. Out of the way?! Frankly, I find such callous disregard for my soldiers’ contributions offensive!

Then, LOUD Mom had the audacity to suggest they sort through my troops and GET RID OF the ones I don’t use!!! Continue reading

Petition drive.

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is the General. Still no response from the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Household Headquarters to my letter regarding relocating my troop basket to increase accessibility. I tried moving the basket this weekend – several times – and every morning my troops were back in their original location.

Time is of the essence – how many soldiers must I abandon before action is taken?! Continue reading

No soldier left behind.

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. With limited access to the computer this past week, I missed my chance at Wordless Wednesday. Carol told me I’d have to wait until next week, but I managed to commandeer the computer while she’s off being nosy – or as she calls it, “making observations.” Yes, it was technically Walter’s turn to host Wordless Wednesday, but, as you’ll see, I have more pressing matters to present – matters that cannot wait.

The issue at hand is the inadequate location of my troop basket – which our moms condescendingly refer to as the “toy” basket.

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Several days ago, I submitted a formal written request for relocation of the basket to the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Household Headquarters, but have not received a response. Quite possibly the issue is mired in a bureaucratic stranglehold (for the lay-dog or cat, that means my moms are still discussing it). Continue reading

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

Sherman-01_profileHello, this is The General. After playing with the idea of starting my own blog, I decided to stick with guest writing on Carol’s. Seeing how much time Carol devotes to maintaining her blog, I’m afraid a blog of my own would take too much time away from raiding the toy basket and gnawing on chewies. And now that summer’s almost here, I hope to spend more time outside.

Speaking of being outside, Eggnog recently asked me to help her unearth clothes from years past that she’d buried in the backyard. How that five-pound ball of fur buried all of those outfits by herself is beyond me – it must have taken her forever. Thanks to my upper body strength [Steve’s got nothing on me with his pathetic abs], I was able to dig up Eggnog’s clothes in no time. It was refreshing to have someone appreciate my digging skills.

Living in a house with a mom who is an archaeologist, one would expect that a digging dog would be a welcome addition. Maybe even a source of pride. Continue reading